Brother, I know the pain and heartache that can come from a divorce.
In some ways, divorce is worse than a death. At least when someone passes away, people bring you flowers…but in the case a divorce, no one brings you flowers, and you’re forced to re-live a lot of the destroyed dreams you had with your wife. It’s as though you’re haunted by a ghost of what could have been. So, no it’s not worth than a death, heaven forbid, but in a way it is a death, it’s the death of a relationship, and it’s a bane to most of the world, especially the West, because kids from divorced families can create a lot of burden for society as adults.
My mission is to help men and women avoid divorce, to keep people out of the situation that you are in. And, even though I don’t have much content for divorced men, and I don’t work with them, I will share some words of encouragement and some resources here.
Remember, if you take the challenge of the divorce, if you really rise to the challenge it presents, if you embrace-the-suck, you can forge a new and awesome life for yourself and the people in it: especially your kids!
Divorce is not the end of the world. It can make you stronger, if you let it.
Divorce can be an opportunity for you to do some self-work, to learn about your own strengths and to develop skills that perhaps your wife was keeping you from developing.
Even though the divorce was likely not your idea, more than likely, you were broad-sided by it, you can recover and forge a new path for yourself.
First thing I would recommend is to get into the gym if you haven’t been staying in shape. Start to go everyday. If you do not like the gym, do some sort of seriously strenuous exercise that is sustainable. Do what you can do and keep doing it, do more if you can do it, all while listening to your body. Also, don’t suffer alone, remember there are other men out there who can help you.
In addition to exercise and fitness, start a meditation practice. Meditate every morning and evening. Even if you’re only sitting in silent meditation for five to ten minutes, twice a day, that small amount of time will work wonders in your life. Here’s a link to a book that can help you start a meditation practice.
Start to look into spiritual books and start to reconnect with God. If it were not for God, you couldn’t even drool on your pillow at night, so do what you can to reconnect with Him.
Also, if you have toxic bad habits (like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, porn-addiction), seek to start ridding yourself of those things. Purifying your life will add length and quality to it. You can do it!
Lastly, do not give up…
And DO NOT kill yourself!
Suicide is a MAJOR spiritual crime, and you will not avoid any struggles in the grand scheme of things by ending your life in this incarnation. If you do, you will be spiritually demoted and have to return to a life with the same challenges and greater. The only way out is Through, so man-up-butter-cup and know that you can handle whatever life throws your way.
And, for what it’s worth, I believe in you!
Here are some other book resources that might help you:
- The Geneva 1599 Bible
- Autobiography of Yogi, by Paramahansa Yogananda
- The First Bible
- Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach and Marcus Lovett
- No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Dr. Robert Glover
- The Bhagavad Gita, as translated by Eknath Easwaran
- Breaking the Death Habit by Leonard Orr
- Why am I Afraid to Tell You Who I am, by John Powell
- The Holy Virus, by Lional Christopher Parkinson
- The Gospel of the Holy Twelve
- Anything else you have been wanting to read, take the time to invest in your wisdom by gleaning it from the written observations of other learned individuals.
Beyond Dating 